Divorce

Mark 10:1-12

These words of Jesus are part of a larger teaching on discipleship. The kingdom of God is about relationships. And close relationships like marriage give us opportunity to daily practice what we profess. Joined together by God in marriage, husband and wife experience a bond so strong that breaking it causes incredible pain for both.

There are three principles that help me understand and apply Jesus’ words. 1) God values people, because we are his, and we were bought with a price. 2) God values covenants, because he is committed to do what he says. His relationship with us is based on a promise, not on a system or rule book. 3) God knows that broken   covenants break people. When a promise is broken, hearts are broken. With these three principles in mind, the issue that Jesus ultimately addresses here is hard hearts. In first century Palestine, a Jewish man could put his wife out of the house and give her a certificate of divorce for almost any reason. So in answer to the Pharisee’s question about the lawfulness of divorce, Jesus replies that Moses permitted it “because of your hardness of heart.”

When we feel hurt or slighted or neglected, our human tendency is fight or flight. Either get even or run. But discipleship demands more. Having a soft heart means being willing to
confront rather than avoid problems, because avoidance always leads to resentment. Having a soft heart means listening without becoming defensive, and forgiving as Christ has forgiven you. But the truth is that whether we are married, single, or divorced, we all struggle to do these things consistently. We need the Holy Spirit’s power to live out of our new nature in Christ rather than our old sin nature.

In your closest relationship, is there anything you need to confront that you’ve been avoiding? Are you listening to understand or listening to respond? Is there anything you need to confess or forgive?

Prayer: Lord, you intend for marriage to be a blessing, but it is fragile, and easily ruined. Please bring restoration to troubled marriages, healing to those who are divorced, and integrity to those who are single. And soften hearts that have become hardened by sin, beginning with mine. Amen.